If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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