the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
