Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
