I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.