I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.