Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.