Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
