I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize