I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.