you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize