I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
