i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
