found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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