At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
