never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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