Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
