She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
