also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
