Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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