im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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