I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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