I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize