Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize