everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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