I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
