i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
