Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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