Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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