This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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