haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
