I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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