she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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