I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
