I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
