I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
