sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just want nice things and good sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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