You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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