11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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