If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize