it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize