fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
