If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
