i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
