can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
