I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
