dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
