I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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