you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
