I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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