He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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