The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
