Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
