His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
