I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
