Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
