Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner