Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.