Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i would rim the shit out of meg ryan

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  (630): i would rim the shit out of meg ryan http://tfl.nu/j227
  Replies (23) Good night (857) Bad night (2234) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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  (214): So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open. http://tfl.nu/pz60
  Replies (20) Good night (3517) Bad night (1046)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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  (317): fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked. http://tfl.nu/j4lz
  Replies (7) Good night (633) Bad night (3685) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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  (617): i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito http://tfl.nu/zxd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1557) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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  (616): You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races. http://tfl.nu/trt2
  Replies (6) Good night (2782) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

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  (240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu
  Replies (55) Good night (15889) Bad night (1248)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.

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  (403): Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms. http://tfl.nu/yg77
  Replies (2) Good night (2130) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back

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  (845): well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back http://tfl.nu/xxu5
  Replies (33) Good night (4118) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3486) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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  (+44): The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid http://tfl.nu/ks5z
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.

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  (215): You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you. http://tfl.nu/sg3o
  Replies (7) Good night (959) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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  (603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g
  Replies (8) Good night (1311) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.

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  (801): When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw. http://tfl.nu/4mnb
  Replies (9) Good night (957) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  It's like earning obesity badges

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  (303): I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle (1-303): It's like earning obesity badges http://tfl.nu/mpfd
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.

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  (404): New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold. http://tfl.nu/ite7
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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