I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
