Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
