I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
