some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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