I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
