just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
