all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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