okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
