Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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