So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
