he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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