Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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