last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
