I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
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