her vagine was all disorganized.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
