You just made me feel so damn special
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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