Pregnant stripper...not hot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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