Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
