Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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